Presentation notes to refer back to when thinking about your own family expectations around computer use.
Note that every section is based on asking questions and finding the right balance or 'fit' for your family.
Discuss these questions first as parents and then with your child. The younger your child is, the more the decisions should be made for them, the older they are, the more involved they should be in the decision making... but parents still have final say!

Thinking about computer or 'screen' time?
See Children and Computer Time on the Parents as Partners page.




Our children will make mistakes…
How do we handle this?
How do we minimize their online risks?
How do we permit them to learn?

• What needs are my child meeting online?

• Fun • Independence • Communication • Connection • Adventure
• Creation • Sense of Belonging • Risk • Being heard • Identity
How do I help them meet these needs both on and offline?
How do I engage with them in meeting their needs?
How do I monitor what they are doing? (How much say do they have in this decision?)

• Gaming

How much time is ‘used’ playing games?
What games does your child play? What are your views on violence in video games? Are any of these games for learning?
How often? Is this a problem for your family?
Discussion point: Time limits vs letting team/clan mates down: If your child 'shuts down' in the middle of a game, this could affect other players. So, it might be important to talk about you respecting their commitment to others and their respect of your timelines/commitments by not making such commitments if they have time constraints given to them in advance.
Family games night? (All of board, card and digital games)

• Many access points makes monitoring difficult

Is the family computer in a central location?
Where does my child do homework?
What tools do they have? Do their 'gaming toys' provide internet access? When can they play these games?
What online access do they have... in the house? ... in their bedroom? ... at their friends houses? ... at school?
How much time do they get to use these tools? (See Children and Computer Time)
-Who decides this? How much choice are they given? (This should change as the child gets older)

• Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’

Is your child familiar with these two terms?
A good resource: Cybersafety Also see the cybersafety videos for good discussion starters.
Sexting definition: (a combination of the words "sex" and "texting"), it is the slang term for the use of a cell phone or other similar electronic device to distribute pictures or video of sexually explicit images. It can also refer to text messages of a sexually-charged nature.
Are you familiar with 'Net Lingo'?
How much information does your child share online?
Do they have 'friends' online that they have never met?
- Do they treat these 'friends' differently? When is this ok, and when isn't it?
(Example: A 'friend' on a music sharing site that shares music, compared to a friend on Facebook sharing personal information.)

• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’

- Get online… (ask them for help)
- Share
- Communicate… (in their spaces)
- Interact
- Play games… (with them)
- Engage
- Watch… (let them teach you)
- Create
- Develop… (expectations with them)

How open are you to talking to your child about online safety?
-Do they engage in the conversation? (Why or why not? What kinds of questions are you asking?)
How aware are you of what sites they visit, and what social networks they belong to?
How much do you engage with them online?

• Non-fear-based, social norms education

What will YOU do?
Generate expectations (Proactive)
Have the conversations and generate ownership (share the responsibility)
Use prompts (YouTube videos, case-based scenarios, teachable moments)
Establish a response “plan” (Reactive)
Be available to “support not punish”
Preserve your attachment (Caring parent)

• Do's and Dont's

These are suggestions and discussion points:
DO
DON'T
Understand
Ban
Monitor
Control
Connect
Ignore
Engage
Avoid
Communicate_
Disregard_
Can you create expectations and guidelines based on the information above?
If not where can you find out more? (See links on our home page.)
What will you do if your child: Bullies someone? Gets Bullied? Abuses your guidelines and expectations?

• Homework

1. Find out what websites & games your child uses, and what networks they belong to.
(Let them teach you about one of them.)

2. Create some expectations and guidelines about internet use with your child.

3. Join a social network!
(e.g. Windows Live , Facebook, Club Penguin, Youtube, ePets, Twitter, WebKins, etc.)

• More...

These are bookmark links that I will continually update as I find resources: cybersafety parenting



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David Truss - This outline/handout follows the format of my Parenting in the Digital Age presentation found on this Raising 'Digital' Kids wiki's home page. See the home page for more parent resources.